Choose to Live out Your Story

I can’t tell you how many times when I say the words, “I’m going on a trip,” that I get a response along the lines, “Ugh, you’re so lucky!” or “I am so jealous of all your travels!”  There’s something about that response that has always troubled me.  Now, if you’re someone who has said those words to me, please understand, this blog is not to condemn you.  I merely want to share my perspective.

When I was growing up, I remember a thought planted in the back of my head.  Like many teenage girls, I daydreamed about falling in love.  But there was a fear, for whatever reason, that remained lodged in the back of my mind that I might not ever get married.  Add to that, I felt even less certain about the idea of having children.  I shoved those thoughts aside though, as the culture of the day had instilled the expectation that I would likely meet someone.  So, after graduating high school, I went off to college with the hope that I would meet someone there and start a life together.

Well, college came and went, and I had only gone on two dates.  One during my freshman year and one during my senior year.  Suffice it to say, that fear began to creep up to the forefront of my mind.

But I was still young.  There was “still time.”  Maybe I would meet someone in the first years of working.  Little did I realize that I would move six times over the span of ten years…hardly conducive for falling in love and “settling down.”  I entered into my thirties, and the fear turned into a panic.  I had at least met a few men, and I would even say that I felt love.  But a lack of compatibility, sufficient time spent together, or being whisked away again for work prevented any relationship from taking root.

When relationship after relationship slips through your fingers and every access to social media reveals a friend’s (or even ex’s) engagement or a baby announcement, it is very easy to feel like time is passing you by and your life hasn’t even begun.  You’re left at a crossroads: one direction takes you towards bitter frustration and resentment, and the other takes you toward acceptance that not every life is meant to look the same.  I started down the former road and then changed directions.  The fear has never gone away, but the further I walk down the road of acceptance, the more I realize what my life can offer to others.  It can be no less fulfilled and no less joyful. So, I book the flights, I pack the bag, I charge up my camera, and I go.

Recently, I have added to this choice of acceptance.  Realizing that every day, every moment, is an opportunity to make a positive difference in the life of someone, I’ve begun sharing my raw thoughts with others. I’m still not perfect at taking proper advantage of every daily opportunity, but one of the opportunities I’ve started to take is saying the words, “I love you.”  I realize those are heavy words and carry significant meaning, but I have also witnessed missed opportunities to share these words with people that matter a great deal to me.  And the person deserves to know.  Those words do not need to be limited to family members or romantic relationships.  They can also be applied to people you connect with and those who have touched your soul simply by being in your life.  And why would you want to let an opportunity to show how much they mean to you slip by?

We cannot predict what we face down the road.  We cannot predict what awaits us.  To live life with envy or with words left unsaid is a conscious decision to live your life limited.